OMG! A BIG Bug!
by Reffer Lift
Summary: Oh Noes! Now Link and Midna have to go face to face with The Big Bug 'o Twilight! Tears will be cried, blood will be spilt, and Link is still a pervert. The Final OMG! A Bug!


A/N: You waited for it, and now it's here! OMG! A Bug 3! It's here and bigger and better than the last two! Enjoy the smart talking Midna and perverted Link goodness!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own LOZ for the last darn freaking time! Get it now, you can't sue me!

**OMG! A BIG Bug!**

It was a nice day in Kakariko. The sun was shining, the children were playing, Link tried to hit on Midna again, it was normal, but nice. After being rejected again by Midna, Link took a moment to look at the nice view.

Well, it was nice if you considered "nice" to be a wasteland with broken homes and the smell of blood in the air. Did I just see a tumbleweed roll past? Link sighed, and went back inside.

"Hey, Midna, can we get out of this dump already? This game is taking over 70 hours to complete!" Link complained to his smart talking imp friend, Midna.

"Geez, Link, don't you know anything? It takes 70 hours to beat OoT, not Twilight Princess!" Midna snapped back at him.

"Don't get smart with me..." Link warned.

"And the other times don't count because..." Midna started.

"Oh I can't wait till I see your true form... then I can make fun of how it looks based on what the Twilight Monsters look like!" Link exclaimed.

"What?" Midna asked in confusion.

"Never mind." Link said.

"Well, we'd better get going." Midna said.

"Alright!" Link exclaimed. The small group went out the door, on Epona, and left the hellhole... I mean Kakariko. The familiar tune started to play as Link entered Hyrule Field.

"I love this song! I have it on my iPod!" Link exclaimed as he rode through Hyrule.

"Thank you Koji Kondo!" Link exclaimed again.

"Now he goes ranting about his god again..." Midna remarked.

"How long until this game is over?" Link asked.

"Well let's see, until I tell you, let me warn you: We're about to go into a Water Dungeon." Midna replied.

"Great... just what I need... A Water Dungeon..." Link muttered. "So about 100 more hours then just to complete hell." Link said.

"You got it." Midna replied.

"Joy." Link said sarcastically.

"But you're gonna hate what's before hand..." Midna started to say.

"No... you don't mean..." Link started to say.

"Yep, more Twilight."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-----

Hours passed, and Link finally got to Lake Hylia.

"Holy crap, it's bigger than it was in OoT!" Link exclaimed.

"It is? Well, that's only a small puddle of the lake..." Midna said.

"And I have to, like swim through it?" Link asked.

"Yep." Midna replied.

"I hate this game." Link said.

"Would you rather be in OoT?" Midna asked. "The Water Temple is considered one of the hardest dungeons ever."

"I thought it was Great Bay Temple that was the hardest." Link said.

"No... it was the Water Temple!"

"Great Bay Temple!"

The two continued arguing until they got to "The Wall."

"Great Bay!"

"Water!"

"GREAT BAY!"

"WATER!"

"GREAT BAY!!!"

"A Wall!"

"A wall?" Link asked in confusion. He then looked up to see the nightmare called "The Wall."

"Oh. **THAT **wall." Link said.

"Well, we'd better get going. It's just gonna be just as annoying as the Great Bay-" Midna started.

"Don't say it." Link warned.

"temple." Midna finished.

"Ok, that's it. You are SO dead!" Link exclaimed.

And so, Link started chasing Midna until he realized that he was one inch away from "The Wall." After link lost another of his now 5 hearts, he made a truce with Midna that if both the Great Bay Temple and the Water Temple were combined, then it would be total hell. They then went into the Twilight Zone.

-----

"AWOO! (Sweet... I'm a wolf again! You know what that means...)" Link howled.

"That we have to collect the Twilight Bugs and become heroes?"

"Awoo. (No.) AWOOOOO! (It means that you have to take off your only piece of clothing, your headset!)" Link asked.

"You still remember that bet..." Midna sighed.

----

FLASHBACK

In the Goron Mines, Link was about to battle the Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow.

"Ok, so I think I'm gonna need the Iron Boots..." Link sighed.

"You don't know that. For all we know, he might just give it to you." Midna replied to Link's comment.

"It's a Zelda game we're in. We're gonna have to fight for it." Link told Midna.

"Ok, but I still think you're not gonna need the boots." Midna said.

"Well I don't need them, but TSA isn't doing a speedrun right now, so it doesn't matter." Link snapped back.

"You don't need the boots! It'll just slow us down!"

"But the boots will keep us safe! Would you rather we die 10 times because we keep falling off the platform!"

"No, but..."  
"Here, I'll tell you what," Link started. "If we fall off 5 times without the boots, you have to take it off!"

"What do you mean, "Take it off?"" Midna asked.

"Oh I just mean you have to take off your headset when we get to the Twilight. It's like, the only piece of clothing you have!" Link exclaimed evilly.

"Fine, I won't have to do it anyway..." Midna sighed.

Link and the smart talking imp opened the door and began to fight The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow.

"I... AM..." Link looked at his watch.

"THE... KEEPER..."

"Get on with it!" Midna screamed.

"... of the Bow and Arrow." The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow said.

"No kidding." Midna said.

"LITTLE MAN IS WEARING GREEN!" The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow grunted. Link sighed.

"So?"

"ME HATE GREEN!!!" The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow screamed. He then broke the platform they were on.

"Woah!" Link exclaimed.

"Ahh!" Midna screamed. They then fell off the platform.

"That's once..." Link said. They then started attacking The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow. He threw them off.

"Twice..." Link said again.

The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow jumped on the platform, knocking them off AGAIN.

"Three times..."

"I GET THE POINT!" Midna screamed.

"The bet is 5!" Link exclaimed.

"I hate you." Midna stated.

"Aww... I love you too!" Link exclaimed with uttermost sarcasm. The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow knocked them up and off again as they were arguing.

"Four... hm... I can't seem to wait for the Twilight!" Link grinned evilly. Finally, they got knocked off again, but this time Link just walked off because he was feeling horny and just wanted to see Midna's supposed nude body.

"I hate you." Midna simply said again as link had the most evillest grin on his face.

The battle with The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow lasted for about 30 seconds when Link put the boots on.

"AH! Goron Keeper surrender to Green Boy! Green Boy can have Bow and Arrow!" The Goron Keeper of the Bow and Arrow then gave Link the Bow and Arrow.

"Yoink!" Link exclaimed as he took the item. That tune we all know and love started to play.

"I wonder why that always happens?" Link asked himself.

END FLASHBACK

-----

Midna sighed, and took off her helmet. Link gasped.

"AWOO! (Hey, it's hair!)" Link howled.

"Well, what did you think?" Midna asked him.

"Awoo... (Well, I pictured boobies...)"

"YOU PERVERTED WOLF!" Midna screamed as she gave him a huge slap in the face.

"Awoo (So, what else is new?)" Link howeled. Midna sighed.

After many hours of obligatory adventuring later, our heroes decided to see just how much they had:

"Ok, we have 14 bugs..." Midna said looking into the bag.

"Awoo...(And one Zora colony saved by me.)" Link howled boldly.

"And all we need is one more bug to save the land of Hyrule from the Twilight once and for all!" Midna exclaimed.

"Awoo! (Hurrays!)" Link howled.

After even MORE hours of obligatory adventuring, Link and Midna found themselves face to face with a barrel in the middle of water, which was where their handy dandy "Bug Radar" was leading them.

"Ok... we're in the middle of some lake, and there's no freaking bug." Midna stated rudely.

"Awoo... (Wait...)" Link warned. Suddenly, a giant bug rose from the water.

"OMG! A BIG BUG!!!!" Link and Midna exclaimed, Link howling it, of course.

"Quick, into the water!" Midna ordered. Midna dived in with no problems. Link, however, kept getting hit by the Big Bug o' Twilight and could not dive in. He finally did so, however, when he only had two and three quarters of his hearts left.

"Awoo! Awoo. (Ok! What's the plan! I didn't lose three and 1 quarters of my hearts for nothing.)" Link complained.

"I just wanted to go for a swim." Midna stated. Link started twitching.

"AWOO! AWOO! (YOU MADE ME LOOSE ALL THAT HEALTH JUST SO YOU COULD GO FOR A SWIM!!!?)" Link screamed.

"Kidding..." Midna said. Link calmed down.

"Awoo? (So, what are we doing?)" Link asked.

"Well, I think we can get him by using the Midna Move on his legs and attacking them all at once. We have to get him down, first." Midna explained.

"Awoo? (And how do you know that's his weakness?)" Link asked.

"I'm your "Fairy Helper" for this game. What do you expect?" Midna pointed out. Link rolled his eyes.

"Awoo? Awoo? (So, how do you suppose we get him down?)" Link asked.

"No clue. Figure it out." Midna said as she pushed him back onto the barrels. The Big Bug o' Twilight roared at Link, who just sat there, staring.

"AWOOOOOO!!!!!" Link howled. Underwater, Midna cringed.

"AWOO! AWOO! AWOO!" Link howled as he was being torn to bits by the Big Bug o' Twilight.

"AWOO! (Is there any end to this pain!?)" Link pleaded. Finally, freedom came when Link lost his last heart.

"Sweet freedom..." A human Link at the Game Over screen sighed. But it wasn't for long, because in an instant Link was back at where he was, same time, same place, same wolf.

"Awoo!? (What the hell just happened!?)" Link asked, shocked.

"You had a fairy." Midna stated, rising from the water.

"Awoo. (Shit.)" Link said as the Big Bug o' Twilight roared behind him, ready for another killing spree. Suddenly, out of fear, Link rammed into the bug and it fell on his back.

"AWOO! (Eureka!)" Link exclaimed.

"Yes?" Eureka from Eureka Seven asked as she walked in.

"Not you!" Midna snapped back at her.

"Geez, ok, ok..." Eureka sighed as she walked out.

"Awoo! Awoo, awoo awoo! (I get it! If I ram into him, then he falls and then we can use the Midna Move!)" Link explained as they did so.

"Hurrays! We did it once!" Midna exclaimed. But it wasn't a happy occasion for long, for Link was soon down to one heart again. But this time, he only needed one more hit to win!

"Awoo... (Midna... I know I have one fairy left...)" Link started to say.

"And you're not getting it unless you take back the bet." Midna stated.

"Awoo! (Oh come on! I NEED it!)" Link exclaimed.

"I know." She grinned.

"AWOO! (GIVE ME THE FREAKING FAIRY!)" Link growled, barely dodging an attack by The Big Bug 'o Twilight.

"You heard my request." Midna said, playing with the bottle.

"Awoo! Awoo... (OK! Fine...)" Link sighed.

"Ok, here you go!" Midna exclaimed as she threw the bottle at him. And just in time, too, because he lost his last heart.

In the Game Over world, Link (In typical heroic anime style) stood there, awaiting the challenge ahead. He grabbed his shield, sword in hand...

And appeared in the battle field screaming like a little girl as he rammed into The Big Bug 'o Twilight once more. The Midna Move was used and the hell was over.

Being a human again, Link felt relieved.

"It's over... all the Twilight is over..." He sighed.

"Hey, don't feel so carefree!" Midna snapped.

"Why?" Link asked.

"We still have a Water Dungeon to complete!" Midna exclaimed.

Link screamed.

OMG! A BUG! TRILOGY END

-----

A/N: There it is! The final OMG! A Bug! Is complete! And I come here with news of a NEW SERIES!

What is it?

"The Misadventures of Smart Talking Imps and Perverted Heroes."

Cue Applause

This series will take place right after the OMG! A Bug! Trilogy. It will be a series of stories about, yep, Perverted Link and Smart Talking Midna! The first story will be about the dreaded Lakebed Temple. Poor Link and Midna.

I leave you with a preview thing for "The Misadventures of Smart Talking Imps and Perverted Heroes!"

-----

"So, now we have to go through ANOTHER series!?" Midna asked me, the almighty author.

"Yep." I simply replied.

"I hate you. So much." Midna said

"I know!" I said gleefully.

"Do you know just how perverted he is!?" Midna asked.

"Nope. And I don't plan to." I replied with a smile.

"Grr..."

"Now stop it, or it's the cage with you!" I exclaimed evilly.

"Yulp!" Midna exclaimed, and she sat there, and waited for the new series to start.

And then she would get her revenge...

If I wasn't the author.

-----

"The Misadventures of Smart Talking Imps and Perverted Heroes" is coming soon to a computer near you!


End file.
